Long time no see, baddies. Like me, in 2022, travel is back. Let us talk about Hawaii. First off, Hawaii should be on your top ten travel destinations of your LIFE! If someone tries to tell you that Hawaii is overrated or speaks down about it because it's not "international," that person has never been to Hawaii and should not be trusted. Plus, they probably think that jorts are sexy. Hawaii is unique, with stunning beaches, friendly people, mountains, lush foliage, and volcanos. Sign me the eff up.

I know many people think Hawaii is super expensive, and don't get me wrong, it is costly, but let me show you how to take the SUPER out of that.

I spent more on this recent trip because I went island hopping (pinky out). A day trip on the big island in a convertible; I basically had to do it, right? Let's get into what I did, what I wouldn't do again, and what you could do instead to trim some budget.

I started with flights. My biggest secret to flying cheaply to Hawaii is first flying to Vegas. Vegas is a short flight from where I live, and you can find cheap flights to Vegas from most major cities. I paid 60 USD ROUND TRIP to fly to and from Vegas. Now from Vegas, flights to Hawaii are pretty inexpensive. I paid 240 per person round trip to and from Vegas. It took some time to arrange flights and make sure I had enough time to make it from one terminal to the next without having too much time. Flying to Hawaii for 300 round-trip per person is totally worth putting in the effort.

I decided to fly white trash first-class by purchasing an entire row for the Hawaii flight. I didn't have to worry about being pressed up against a stranger for 6 hours and had plenty of room in that empty middle seat for snacks and things. If you want to do this, you will have to call the airline to make the arrangements, and they will charge you less for the middle seat because they charge taxes and fees per person, not per seat. I did not pay any luggage fees for my trip because I only took an under-the-seat bag and, as always, wore my bulkiest clothes and shoes on the plane.

Now that we have the flight dates that work let's talk about lodging. I paid zero dollars for my room stay in Hawaii, and you can too. As previously stated (IE per my last email), get yourself a credit card that gives you lodging reward points for hotel stays. Put everything on that card, EVERYTHING! Just make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

I stayed at a resort in Waikiki because online, it seemed luxurious. Since I chose to go that route, I had to pay resort fees that were 150 USD per person for my six-night stay. I also had to pay a ridonkulous amount for parking that I will talk about later.

While I loved the amenities we had in our room, especially the washer and dryer, since we packed so few clothes. The super long walk to and from the parking garage to the room, with multiple elevator rides, was the last thing I wanted to do at the end of a long day. Add the crowds and parking prices, and that's gonna be a no for me, dawg. You can shave a lot off the cost of your trip by staying in a hotel, especially if it's not in Waikiki. Waikiki is crowded with a frustrating parking situation. Take a day trip there, and sleep somewhere else.

Now that we have checked the most important items off the list. Let us talk about transportation. There are a lot of travel tour buses that will take you to the top destinations on the island for a day. If you book a boating adventure, most will pick you up at the popular resorts. You 100 percent need to rent a car to get the most out of your Hawaiian vacation. It opens up so many options and allows you to have a flexible schedule. I spent 380 dollars on the Island of Oahu for a 6-day car rental. The true cost of the rental car ended up being our resort's parking fee of 60 USD per night. It's painful to even type that sentence. That basically doubled the rental car cost bringing us to 740 USD total.

So to recap, we have lodging, flights, and transportation on the Island of Oahu (with holy shit parking prices and resort fees) for 6 nights, coming in at 1,190 USD. Now let's say you don't stay at a resort and at a hotel; you would be looking at 680 USD per person with free parking. Which is a pat-yourself-on-the-back price tag. You could end it there and consider it your vacation's price. There are so many free things to do on Oahu you don't HAVE to pay for activities. Hikes, beaches, waterfalls, views, you can find them all for zero dollars. I hear you asking me, "What about food?" in your head. Do you not eat at home? You have a food budget as part of your everyday life. You only need to budget for food if you plan on exceeding what you usually spend. Most of us spend more on vacation, but you do not have to, even in Hawaii.

While I had been to Hawaii before and visited most of the islands, I had never been to the Big Island of Hawaii, so I booked a day trip. It cost me 80 USD per person. I found the cheapest day to fly on and secured the earliest and latest flight for that day. Then I rented yet another car, I could have saved a lot of money here, but I went with the convertible for 180 USD for the day. So for 260 dollars, I got to feel the wind in my hair on the Big Island, and I have no regrats.

Now that there is a solid set schedule, let's look at activities in Hawaii. I have spent a lot of time in Oahu. I walked in with some knowledge of what I was and wasn't interested in. Huge tourist pulls like Diamond Head and The Dole Plantation did not make the cut. I love to eat pineapples, but I would much rather say snorkel with sea turtles than ride a tiny train through a pineapple field. As far as Diamond Head goes, it is iconic and has great views; it is also CROWDED. If you have to hike Diamond Head, I suggest going in the late afternoon, about 30 minutes before they start turning people away. If you want a great view, smaller crowds, and a price tag, I recommend the Pill Box hike instead. Bad Bitch pro travel tip, you do not have to see and do EVERYTHING that is recommended for your destination.

I only did one paid activity while I was in Hawaii, I had planned more, but the timing didn't align. I missed a kayaking trip to the Mokulua Islands. It's two small islands off the coast that serve as a bird sanctuary. You can rent kayaks and paddle there yourself or do a guided group tour, including a picnic lunch. Both options are great, and I plan to prioritize them the next time I visit.

So you know how I always tell you guys to spend big money on one activity and stop trying to do a million cheap ones that will disappoint you? Well, I practice what I preach. I decided to make my significant experience, snorkeling in the ocean with wild dolphins. This cost me 350.00 USD for two people. It was a half-day experience that included lunch and all equipment.

I went with a company called Indigo Ocean Hawaii because they limited tour sizes to half of their ship's capacity, so while it was a little more expensive, it made for a better experience. It was fun to watch the shore get smaller as you headed out to where the dolphins would be; people took turns riding in the catamaran net at the front of the ship while the ship's professional photographer took pics and made conversation. When we got to the dolphins, it was pretty hectic, and I missed spotting them the first few times, but once I did, it was magical. The crew gave us at least 10 chances to jump in and swim with them.

The tour was also supposed to include lunch on the beach and snorkeling with turtles before we returned; the seas were too rough that day. So we had lunch on board, which was very lovely, and we watched people surf where we were supposed to have snorkeled. They promised to tell us where to snorkel with turtles that no one knew about before we departed, and they held true to that. 13/10 would book with this company again, this experience and the people's "chef kiss."

Now for the FREE things, I did in Hawaii. Obviously, the beach, every beach is amazing in Hawaii, ALL of them. They are all free, and why wouldn't you go to Hawaii without spending a day at the beach? I hiked, I love a good hike where the payoff is a spectacular view, and Hawaii has them in spades. Now your girl loves some lush scenery, so I spent a half day at Hoʻomaluhia Botanical Garden, which the city maintains, so you guessed it, FREE! I snorkeled so much on this trip, and it was all free because I brought my own equipment. You can rent gear for pretty cheap as well.

Finally, let's talk about food. The best Poke' is going to be from a grocery store. Want to eat like a local? Rainbow Drive-In is the place to go with plate-style meals; try to loco the moco bowl. Everyone loves to talk about Leonard's famous malasadas, very similar to a donut but with no hole. I like Leonards, but only like; I wouldn't feel like I missed out if I didn't go there. Shave ice is a must in Hawaii; SHAVE, not shaved. Matumoto Grocery store on the north shore is the place to have it. President Obama gets his shave ice from there, and that's a good enough recommendation for me.

No one can go to Hawaii without eating shrimp from a food truck. It's just not done. Giovanni's shrimp truck is the most famous, serving a fantastic scampi plate. If you are a foody, then go ahead and wait in line; you will not regret it. I am foody but hate lines, so I went to my favorite shrimp truck on the island, "The Shrimp Shack." My go-to is the coconut shrimp, but I have never had anything bad there. Bonus they have a table and chairs set up for the customer across the street on the beach.

Lastly, my favorite island eatery, hands down, is Piggy Smalls in Honolulu. If they have a wait, wait. Trust me, I ate there three times, and I am actively upset I had to leave it behind. Everything, me and my partner, was terrific. I didn't even know a Burmese tea salad existed before I ordered it. Now I feel like I was only half living before. Bawl out if you can at this place.

For under 1000 USD, you can have a fantastic time on Oahu, and you should. Life is short, baddies, do all the things while you can. If you don't have time for this kind of travel planning, ya girl does. Whether you want to bawl out on a budget or ball out bougie style, I got you.